DUH! Neyce.

I’ve had a few difficult times every now and then. It wasn’t until a couple years ago did I decide I should take out time for myself and do a little soul searching. It wasn’t anything too dramatic. I would just take a moment, maybe more, to just stop, think and reflect. Ask myself various questions and answer them. Like ‘what’re you doing here?’ ‘is what you’re doing what you want to do?’ ‘are you happy or at least content’ to simpler questions ‘am I hungry?’ ‘what do I feel like eating?’ sometimes I just let my mind wander.

I did this because I realized that things are difficult because I didnt really have a grasp of who I am. When you don’t have a firm grasp of who you are and what you want it’s hard to move forward. You’re so caught up with your choices that you don’t end up making one.

I realize that things change and people change. Although I thought I had found myself I let myself get away.

So here’s to finding myself again. I do love me a game of hide and seek.

I’m an easy girl to please. I don’t necessarily need all the bells and whistles. I have a great appreciation for the little things. Small things like holding my hand, opening my car door, giving me an extra piece of the food I like. I’m not really one for super PDA but a small peck on the lips or the forehead from someone I’m dating. Sometimes it makes me feel like a middle school girl all over again and it’s nice.

/ramble

KaumanaJames: Please explain.

hollabacknick:

Why is it that girls always hate on guys trying to acquaint themselves? It’s the old school way to meet somebody & the only innocent way of wanting to get to know somebody you’ve never met outside of being a mutual friend or meeting on a social network. Are they just not doing it right? Do…

random ramble

i think it’s all in the approach or the situation. don’t start introducing yourself to a girl if she’s busy with fam or in a hurry. of course don’t be rude. it’s all about time and place.

not all girls are closed off to the idea of meeting someone new. being genuine is always a good approach. some situations where i think girls will be a little open minded would be in public transportation or in lines. you guys are both stuck there so why not make it less boring and get to know someone. i’ve met some interesting folks while i was waiting in line for something, the bus stop, or on the train ride home. i just introduced myself and started up a conversation. had a good talk where i’d like to get to know them more. 

other places where you can talk to folks are places of common interest. at a museum, concert, comedy event. you guys are both in the same place so that already gives you something to talk about.

as much as guys may not want to approach girls, girls think the same thing. make yourself approachable as well. you can never hate on a person wearing a  nice smile.

you never know, interesting girls exist. just saying.

the world can surprise you

these are just rambles and vents. feel free to continue scrolling.

I’ve discovered er well noticed that i’m a very stubborn girl with a lot of pride. i really don’t like negative emotions. by negative emotions i mean mad, irritable, sad, annoyed, etc…to me at least. Although it is quite difficult i really like staying on the optimistic side of things. but the one emotion i absolutely dislike is feeling sad. i hate feeling sad and i especially hate crying. i just feel like it’s a waste of time. i’d much rather be spending my time feeling some other emotion. it’s funny since i can be incredibly emotional at times. i’m not saying that crying or being sad is a bad thing. i know folks who can easily cry and be sad and feel a release from it. but when i go through those moments i just find it incredibly yucky and it makes me feel weak. i don’t like feeling weak. being sad or crying from sadness has been engraved into my head that it’s an emotion that only troubles others. i don’t like troubling others.

a lot of thoughts run through my head when i’m sad. i beat myself up or don’t really allow myself to feel the emotion. i’m actually quite hard on myself. i can only imagine what folks might say if they read this or what some friends might say, hell what i might say if someone said this to me.

i’d say hey it’s ok to feel sad and cry sometimes. that doesn’t mean you’re weak. it takes a strong person to admit their emotions, yada yada yada. you’re not a burden, folks are hear to support you and more yadas.

i hate those moments where something goes wrong or you have a problem. you feel like shit or you’re troubled or some other uncomfortable emotion. i dislike when you already know what to do and how to get out of it. you don’t want to feel sorry for youself but you’re still stuck feeling that emotion and you’re just waiting for your efforts to take effect.

blah blah blah blah

i hate negatory moments.

/ramble

I’m not exactly sure why I decided to write this. A part of me just felt compelled to write. I guess it’s for those times you wanna talk to someone. you aren’t exactly sure why or even what you want to say. you only know how you feel and that you have something you wanna communicate, although you just may not know what it is yet.

Here I am typing and deleting, typing and deleting trying to figure out what I could say to you. There are so many languages and words out there and it’s interesting to think that much of the time we are at a loss for words. Many of the times I wish I could just get a wire and literally connect with someone. Just so I could transfer my thoughts, feelings and emotions directly into them.

Words can only express an emotion so much. A friend is going through a tough time in their life. A piece of you aches for them but you are never really sure what to say or what you could say. Then there’s that beautiful friend inside and out who, for the life of them, can’t seem to grasp how amazing they are.  Then of course there’s that one person at the moment who just scrambles your brain. Your words never come out correctly nor are you even able to think coherently.  You just feel and vibe. Every pretty adjective you could think of wouldn’t come close to describing them or how they make you feel.

If only you could communicate it. If only they could understand. If only right? Everything would be so much easier. But then again this is life we’re talking about right? Shit wasn’t supposed to be easy.